It was 1985 and Vicki told her manager at Denny's
…that she was never going to meet her dream man in the smoking section. Then Tom Dau walked in with his buddy Mark and proceeded to one of her tables. After their second visit and long conversations, Vicki was secretly giddy giving him her phone number. Tom didn’t want to appear too eager so he waited until the next AFTERNOON to give her a call. Two dates later of talking into the early morning hours confirmed Tom’s feeling of love at first sight as Vicki’s whole body sighed on the back of her front door when they kissed goodnight.
They were engaged 4 months later and married August 8, 1987. Their life was busy as each child was born. Their household was loud and energetic and they renewed their wedding vows every 5 years keeping their relationship a priority as Vicki was pretty much pregnant or nursing for 18 years bringing life to 7 children here and 3 in heaven.
Even though they obviously spent time in the bedroom...
Vicki constantly felt like something was wrong with her.
Why did she get a creepy crawly feeling when Tom would try to snuggle and put his arm around her?
Why was she so easily startled? Why did she sometimes look at the clock waiting for “it” to be over?
And most days Tom felt like he was walking on eggshells, not knowing what touch or smell might cause Vicki to have what he felt was an “over the top” reaction to something he did or said.
And then, September 2005, foggy memories surfaced of what a family member had done to Vicki at Christmas when she was 5 ½. Well now what they accepted as “normal” made sense. What they thought was “normal”, was actually not uncommon for sexual abuse survivors. More foggy memories wafted back over the next few years: more family members, more abuse.
Tom respected Vicki’s needed parameters as she worked on healing.
But they believed that God brought them together and decided
It’s not IF they were going to figure things out but HOW.
They realized they were on the same team and after over a decade of trial and error figuring things out,
they are committed to helping other couples work through the effects of past trauma and
ENJOY AN EXTRAORDINARY MARRIAGE without the time and frustration they endured.
If you or your spouse has experienced past trauma,
we are uniquely qualified to help you to figure out what is needed in your marriage to
break free from the past!
If you’re looking for mentors that understand the challenges faced by marriages affected by past sexual abuse, look no further than Tom and Vicki Dau. This husband-and-wife duo have first-hand experience overcoming the effects of past trauma, and are passionate about helping other couples achieve a strong, healthy marriage.
Whether you’re struggling with communication, intimacy, or trust issues, Tom and Vicki will provide the hope, guidance and support you need to heal and thrive as a couple.
Don’t let your past define your future – contact us today.
Fully trained and certified through EFT Universe in Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping, I help my clients efficiently and effectively neutralize their body’s emotional response to stress so they can stay calm, think clearly, and stop or even avoid panic attacks. Tapping is a clinically proven mind-body tool that calms the body’s fight or flight response to stress by gently tapping on pressure points close to the skin.
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